The Hermit

The world loves to judge. They judge with their knowing eyes slowly enumerating all your faults, every single thing that is simply not them. I am a hermit and I am proud to say that I am. I spent 13 years of my life as a hermit. Not the Boo Radley kind but the kind that spends 6 days a week indoors and prefers the company of her laptop, books and her pen tablet to keep her company. But the giant truth is. I'm scared. It's my fear of being mistreated, misguided and making a hole outside of my original comfortable one.

I have trust issues with reality. (Who doesn't now-a-days?) And these issues make it really difficult for me to reach out and make friends that I will eventually see every other day outside of my hermit hole. I fear that one day, when I turn my back they'll stab it and then I'll have to deal with the "pain" that comes with this kind of friendship. Come on! Why do people even bother going through the never ending loop of disappointment, drama, hurt, pain, and worst of all betrayal. I see many of my few closest friend's friend who do things that just hurts a person. Well, person who betrayed my friend. I have something to say to you.

I don't understand you or why you find the need to hurt and plague through my friends like just to destroy it and then fix it and then destroy it again.

I don't understand the world. But then again, who does?

Hmm. I think we're going a little bit off topic. What was I talking about again. Ah yes, me being a hermit. My hermitness is a shield. A shield away from those kind of people who like to self-destruct.
I get it. You like to destroy peoples lives and all but dude, leave me out of it. And I get it some people don't get why I like being a hermit.

You know, being a hermit is not all that bad. I spent 13 years building what I have now and that is first making my way into an art community and then a book community and eventually, I created my own brand and business and here I am now. Helping best-selling authors take their stepping stones to success with book marketing, blogging, book covers, and so much more. I'm 20 years old and I'm still at the baby phase of my life and I'm ready to make my way up until I can't anymore. I'm a hermit whose idea of fun is productivity and helping someone make a living. I donate books and money to charities. I do pro bono projects to businesses that need brands and books that need covers. I live to make my family happy with my grades, my success, my presence and my obedience. I live to make sure that their lives in the future will be stable and safe. I live as a hermit to save myself from the troubles of self-destruction and to give life to yet another book, blog, and family.

And if you judge me for being me. Let me ask you this. What are YOU doing with your life? Do you have a purpose? Or is your life only there just so you can betray another soul, destroy another friendship, cut ties with your family and hate yourself?

Call me a prune, a hermit, a boring soul that never lived life. I may be a hermit and a boring soul but I continue to live my life for a reason, no matter how dull and boring the reason is.

I am a Goddamn hermit, everything that defines one has shaped me, my success, and my life. I am content, happy and I fucking live for a reason and that is to live life to the fullest the way I always loved to. Read. Speak. Love. Design. Write. and Climb. 

The Challenge

Tonight, will be the first night we won't say goodnight to each other. The first night you won't tell me that you love me. The first night you won't wish me sweeter dreams.

Tomorrow, will be the first day I won't call you to check if you have eaten or whether you'll be out or if you're coming home. Tomorrow, will be the first day we won't kiss each other over the phone. The first day that we won't know what each of us are doing.

I'm not comfortable writing down my feelings anymore because I fear the tears and the pain I'll feel burning my chest. Also, because I'm a bad writer. Haha.

I somehow have hope that one day we'll meet again and talk about what we were and what we are now. And somehow we'll end up together again and with everything you've told me and said. I can't help but hope. A year may go by and we will change. This obstacle this challenge will change us. It'll tear us apart then glue us back together again but we'll be different. I may become stronger and more confident and you'll be strong, ready and decisive. And in the process of this. We will be glitching we will cry and break and cry and break until time heals us. And right now, All I can focus on is the moment I can't feel the pain anymore. The moment I'll be happy again. And if fate chose us to be together again then let it be.

No matter what you'll still be my bestfriend.

Thought Database

Hey everyone!

This will just be a database filled with all my past thoughts etc. :D

Please Refer to my Book Blog where I am more active:


Unputdownable Books

AMAZING Giveaway from Bibliophilic Book Blog!

The holiday season is in and there are loads of amazing book giveaways by awesome book blogs! But some of them only accept US and Canada Entries. Sadly, I know how that feels to be excluded but you can't really blame them. The shipping is expensive overseas! Here is one amazing giveaway from both entries (yes, including international).

It would be awesome if I was able to win my first giveaway.!

Anyways, My book blog will be up and running as soon as university is out, and I'll be stalking loads of book blogs and comment on their awesome reviews. :D

Again! Don't miss out on Bibliophilic's great holiday giveaway! http://www.bibliophilicbookblog.com/2010/11/holiday-giveaway-announcement.html

CLICK IT!

redo

Nada calls her Madam V.
I know looks fucked. Had to do the entire thing without erasing anything.

little things that make me smile

unfinished.

I once dreaded the moment when a sudden revelation dawned on me which brought me nothing but apoplectic and self disappointment because I became those I hated the most.

But the little things I did for self amusement changed that all and made me smile. I have more to live for than just those who bring me sadness and pain.

I deserve more and better.
Art truly brings me freedom.

[VTOP] Blue Bloods - Revelations

Title : Revelations
Series : Blue Bloods
Volume : 3
Author : Melissa Dela Cruz
Hero/Heroine: Schuyler Van Alen
Werewolves : ----
Vampire : New learnt powers!
Witches : ----
Gods/Goddesses : LUCIFER!
Hotties : Oliie! Olliiieee! I hate you Jack. Go die!
Sexual Tension : Meh.
Romance : "I love you" Princess Leia said. "I know" Han said.
Fight Sequences : Loads. I loved the whole exciting bit where loads of ppl get... okie. i won't spoil.
Deaths : 5 - 6?
Teenage Angst : OH the angst! *Dies*
Comments : Revelations is so much better than the last 2. The excitement and how everything is explained, it makes you go. I KNEW IT or OMFG. Though, I hope I can remember it all when I read the next part.
Stars : 6/10 stars.

bruising

i won't bother with capitalization or anything uniform and correct. I'd rather stay random and spontaneous just this time.

spending the entire week wondering why the damn hell i was left feeling like a boring fuck from each side of my shoulders. Am i not interesting? or did you all just turn mute? i see people turning away and walking off with their sorry excuses that i always tend to shrug off. do i smell or something? am i really that boring or do I have a large pigment mutation growing on my forehead thats starting to gross people out. it seems as if i'm the only one trying my best to conver and entertain. what am i doing wrong?

i'm trying to be as positive as i can with my current situation and ignore anything that comes into my mind about these things that seem to keep on reoccurring. but i can't help it. i'll always think outside the box and end up putting myself down. there i go again blaming myself for doing nothing wrong.

ha. i enjoy writing here. no matter how much hurt and annoyance i dip into these words, no one will step outside their comfort zone and ask me if i was alright. i should call this a diary and not a fucking blog. meh.

there was only one person that always reacted to my pathetic little dabbles. but hes not here anymore. hes somewhere far and barely a phone call away.

it amuses me how i read and end up not being mentioned at all. how nice. did i really not happen to pop up in your life? ha.

i wonder how many bruises will be inflicted before i write something like this again.
i hope it takes forever because right now, i loathe the negativity. but its not something you can just run away from especially when everyone seems to keep on catapulting your positive fortification.

The Need Series by Carrie Jones

I just recently got into a new series. This time with pixies!
Its just page turning. You can't stop reading it. It has a creepy feeling to it.

I can't wait to read Entice which is the 3rd installment to this and is coming out on December 2010. Hopefully, I can get it here on time. Bahrain needs more bookstores!

[VTOP] Blue Bloods - Masquerade

Day: 22
Title : Masquerade
Series : Blue Bloods
Volume : 2
Author : Melissa Dela Cruz (still kinda feel awkward cause shes fili)
Hero/Heroine: Schuyler Van Alen
Werewolves : Something like one but not really. They're called silver bloods.
Vampire : Things are getting complicated, people are getting nightmares and crap but they're not like super superhero.
Witches : None.
Gods/Goddesses : Abbadon, and Azrael
Hotties : Meh, hot yea. Oliver! and that dude... Kingsley.
Sexual Tension : Its coming up. ^^
Romance : the romantic tension is there. I want to kiss you noo... I shouldn't cause it'll ruin us. Blah blah.
Fight Sequences : not so much, but its still there.
Deaths : 1
Teenage Angst : nearly nothing.
Comments : I liked this part better than the 1st because there was a masquerade ball where pretty cute stuff happened. Sorry, I can't remember so stuff because I read a pixie book after. This series is kind of meh. I prefer HoN.
Stars : 5/10 stars.