Loathe. & Hate

mood: tired
listening : to renz on the phone.

(o_o) hes playin chess while talkin to me on the phone.

hahaha...


If the bill wasn't in the way we would have talked on the phone for hours on end.
I find it hilarious.
lubb you best!


haha.


Ren, has been... complaining? bitching? nagging? about me using words like utterly, immense, emnity and blah blah. haha. Whats wrong with using words such as those? >.>


time to do a fun fun meme!!!

ameblo

test.!!!1

my japanese flag doesn't nothing but sit still in the wind.

mood: eager
listening to: into the dark ~ lycaon

First off.
Don't EVER call me useless... EVER again.













Yes, umm... this time I'll bitch about the 20 bands that disbanded within Nov and Dec.
I find it completely ridiculous. Why even start a band when you'll disband after like 4 lives? HUH??!!?! seriously. >.>





This Christmas all I want is my family, my bestfriends and friends all together and I also want my Koala. Which I doubt a certain someone will get me. *Sigh*
Honestly hun. I hate it when we fight. I don't like it at all. Its either u dis me or try to say something that pisses me off or me... doing something stupid to make u do that crap.
We'll just end up hurting each other somehow or is it just me who's getting hurt? haha I'm too emotional. T-T

Wuv u bwest. I know all u want for me is the best and I'm just being stubborn and not listening to your advice. But I will this time. okay?

Just remembering...

I hate him cause he belittles my existence in this world. Its like for him hurting me is what gives him pleasure.


I would love for him to see me now.
He would always laugh at my ignorance and uselessness.
He would also laugh cause I didn't go to school.
He would hurt me senseless, not even hesitating one bit. He loved hurting me.
It was his hobby I'm guessing.
He would just randomly say how freaking bad I was at everything.
I drew, he saw and said you're not as good as your sister.
I wrote, he read and said you're bad at writing.
I read and he saw and said don't try being smart. It wont work without you going to school.
I was always the worst person to him and to think I loved him.
If I talked to him last time... he would've done the same. Doing it over and over again.
Like pleasure seeps out of every painful word he loves shattering me with.

Now, I think he'll eat up all his words. You better chew and swallow fast, cause I'm going to make you eat every word that hurt me in so many ways. Ha! I'm done with school, I draw way better than my own elder sister. I'm not useless I'm working as a junior designer! so go fuck yourself asshole. You defy me one more time and I'll make you lose your manhood.
No, I don't hate you cause I once loved you. I hate you cause you enjoy hurting my very soul. Downgrading my new born talents almost making me stop. I hate you cause you make me cry each time a word falls from your mouth.

You're an ego-centric ass who thinks there are girls lining up for you. Fuck, those girls aren't even real. I'll probably be the only girl who'll ignore your existence as you did mine. Hell, I did that last time. I can do it again... *smirks* Maybe I should talk to you and hurt you like you did me. Hell, revenge may be sweet but this was a long time ago... so I think I should let it slide after I shout at you senseless.

I can't wait to see you again. 18 year old ass. I just want you to see me now.
16 and more accomplished then any other 16 year old. I just want to rub it in your face. Even a little.

3 months? then you're here... umm... this I will enjoy.

When wild parties have to end before we get kicked out.

mood: occupied in heavy metal japanese rock.
listening to: fuck me ~ DEATHGAZE


This week was so eventful in a very uneventful way.
I don't make sense and I don't care.
I'm sitting here on my bed typing away on my laptop. Hopefully fast enough so Nada would wake up to the sound of me typing away. haha

Sunday, I went to work like normally. Did some major editing on some stationery. Made mock ups for an oil brand I should keep on the DL and also did a presentation for the said brand. (We had a meeting with the brands managers)


Now playing: 夢幻 -electric eden- ~ alice nine. [fucking amazing song]


Monday-Wednesday
Eid was okay. The usual chill with family tradition. But this time we went for a joy ride in my cousins car. haha
I'll just skip to Wednesday... OKOR...
Missed the WHOLE thing. Went with Mae and Nich~ It was funny, met up with Kevs, Jay C and the dudes. It was all kool. Hanged around KFC. Met a cool guy and walked home with him and kevs to pick up his painting. Turned into eye candy by two guys... it annoys me really. The phrase 'eye candy' is just eck. >.> One of them looked so freaking familiar. I still don't remember who he is or who he looks like. The other dude... well lets just say he looks like a creep.

Ah yes...
Thrusday... another working day I adored really.
I got to set up a christmas tree, well two christmas trees with Naz. Shortly after went for the Eidmas dinner the office had. I didn't expect so much gifts haha. It was fun. I got to drink. Though everyone wanted to steal the glass away from me. I SAY NEVER! BACK! I may be young... but I'm mature enough to control myself when drinking. I don't think I've ever drank so little before. I was watching myself I guess. I had to go home sober and the fact that my dad has a nose of a grey hound really makes u go brush your teeth and spray yourself with cologne after drinking. haha. I didn't do either of course. I drank lots of water and hugged people to get their scent on me! hahaha. It was fun. REAL FUN. The presents I got was just awesome... when I say awesome I say green awesome. *laughs*
Everyone made comments about each other anonymously. I had pretty funny ones. Some pissed me off.

Najla Qamber:

Najla: Hard working and polite, very helpful and eager to do her best!

Najla- the young blood of the designation (read design nation)

Naj... Mini silent but deadly! Again, just kidding. A true super trooper who is a pleasure to work with and is always so helpful. She works hard and always gets the job done.

The first of the next unisono generation
A little sponge for information

Naj: Has got an amazing talent and is very dependable most of the time even if she is just 16!

Naj: bubbly, talented & got it together. I don't think I was so smart when I was your age. You will go places.

Najla - unbelievable force of nature, her youth is meaningless comparing it to her skills - amazingly focused and hard working. She has an amazing career waiting for her in a very near future!

I like Naj because she's got the biggest potential even though she can fit quite comfortable in a shot glass!

I respect Naj because if anyone annoyed me I could ask her to put their head on the body of someone doing something questionable, the power of photoshop, ey!

Naj - she has a gift in designing and helping other senior designers to do their job.

Naj
Is a little power pixie who will photoshop you a new behind if you don't keep her busy with cool shit to do. (this one has tom written all over it)

Haha! if any of the team finds this! I'm sorry! I just had to type it down somewhere just in case I lose my paper! hahahaha. <3's!





I just watched D'espairsRay's new PV(promotional video) HORIZON and I did not expect rapping. Whats up with all the jrock bands mixing heavy metal, mild visual kei and rapping together. Its a good mix but still... rapping? its a new trend I guess. While watching the guitar solo. I was intrigued by how creative Karyu is. No seriously it just sounded so good. Other solos outside of Jrock sound annoyingly similar. Why do you think I love Jrock? Most bands have a unique sound. Plus... I hate being like everyone else. Its just... gah. Another thing about the video I noticed. They focused alot on ZERO(the bassist). Not that I mind cause that man just looks unbelievably hot now a days. haha. I'm not really a big fan of D'es. Lets just say... their music doesn't attract me as much as the other bands I'm currently listening to. Maybe I just don't like their new single. haha. (just went on their myspace) RIGHT ON HIZUMI! SCREAM!

World End Anthology bass.~

I re did it.~ yay for that.

Pride

I had so much of it.

Utter Stupidity?

Mood: >.> don't fuck with me.
Listening to: Quarter Life - lynch.


Can I say something that could be stupid?
Okay...
here goes.!

Whats up with our hopes up and hopes down unrequited loves RENZ!!!?!
I can't fucking stand it no more.!
Renz! Lets jump off a cliff!
I mean u had two? I had like what... 2 slight ones... 2 MAJOR ones.
It annoys me so fucking much that I want to just make guys disappear from the world.
Then again there was this other dude... but he did things I didn't like... and he didn't make me fall in love with him more... more like the other way around.

From the mortal words of Scarlet Lamont (I'm soon to write this IF i remember)

"Pain as I generally call love. After all its unrequited manner and my failed attempts at it. I think I'll never want to look forward to another red hair, blue eyed Englishman who would make me think as though I meant something to him but it was just his way of entering my friends heart."

ah love.
Such a wonderful thing.

I'll stick to work. I'm sick of that pain called love. *kicks it in the ve*

*this is what I call my winter mood*

*sigh* I miss twin brother (meaning ren not R.O.D)

When motzy makes u go "OMG... *drool*"

mood: sleepy
listening to: nada snore.


Just saw Motzy's new hair do.
One word... "Gackt"

hahaha.

I mished motz.! I haven't spoken to him in agesss!
*sigh*


Early start tomorrow. I have to be sleeping.
I have work to do so early.
Half of the office is going to the beach for a charity event.
Al Ghous Corniche, Muharraq, at 9.30am.
Its open to visitors. The press will be there.
The photos I took of Sarah and Naz are in yesterdays GDN. yay~

Alone in here.

Mood: excited.! 

I was alone in the office for about 30 minutes! WOoooHOOoo! 

Naz didn't come in today.! and this is me posting up an entry cause I'm still on my lunch break.! 

I need to pee. ! 

I should really finish unrequited.!