Nd anthr one
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
light my fire
Everyone has the will right?
The will to live, the will to die, will to be strong and fight, will to be brave and win.
How bout the will to be great?
Sometimes, I think as long as you start young and fresh you'll end up being someone in your future years (im speaking work wise) but isn't it the same thing for the old and worn out. Only difference is the age and the general out come cause of maybe more wisdom and maturity increased how great at something you are? Isn't everyone someone the moment they are born? I mean, you have a name and people who know that name isn't that being someone?
I wonder how and why my mind tends to be so morbid when the reason to live is faint. Its not cause of depression. Thats something I don't really find as my reason. I would sometimes just draw or paint or manipulate whatever when my emotions remain blank or unmoving. Its just natural. But when people see what I did they think otherwise.
I know now though. My work remains a slight bit happier.
If not happy maybe slightly more macabre or advant garde.
I don't get why nothing I work on has a story from the artist herself.
I don't get it.
The will to live, the will to die, will to be strong and fight, will to be brave and win.
How bout the will to be great?
Sometimes, I think as long as you start young and fresh you'll end up being someone in your future years (im speaking work wise) but isn't it the same thing for the old and worn out. Only difference is the age and the general out come cause of maybe more wisdom and maturity increased how great at something you are? Isn't everyone someone the moment they are born? I mean, you have a name and people who know that name isn't that being someone?
I wonder how and why my mind tends to be so morbid when the reason to live is faint. Its not cause of depression. Thats something I don't really find as my reason. I would sometimes just draw or paint or manipulate whatever when my emotions remain blank or unmoving. Its just natural. But when people see what I did they think otherwise.
I know now though. My work remains a slight bit happier.
If not happy maybe slightly more macabre or advant garde.
I don't get why nothing I work on has a story from the artist herself.
I don't get it.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
when hiding under blankets seem too childish to do anymore.
(changes mood too thoughts at the moment) Thoughts at the moment: "When I look back on everything that has happened the past 4 months. I just see how much has happened."
*sigh*
So I'm back.
Not much for writing up everything that has happened over at the Philippines here.
It was fun despite me wanting to come back here every minute of every day. Having something or someone so far away from me kinda drove me over the edge. Pissed me off actually. haha.
I'm glad I'm back though. Sigh.
Came back 5 days before the actual flight. I'm very happy about it at least now, I can actually take a breather from work and a vacation that didn't seem so much like a vacation. It was more tiring, walking about the areas like there is no such thing as cars. We had a couple of bad encounters. Close encounters with snatchers and killer taxi drivers that don't fucking give a damn if they're going to be hitting a person crossing the fucking street! DIE MURDERS!
Well then I'm glad thats over.
What I'm slightly worried about is work next week. I'm worried that maybe I've gotten used to the long days without it that when I go back I won't be staying long before I leave again in fright. Especially when my sister has left that job behind her. But thats just a slight worry. I know that theres something- sorry someone that'll keep me sane and will comfort me and make me forget that theres nothing to be afraid of. I need him as much as he needs me. >.< I dont think I can get through this without him. T-T and I thought I would be a fucked up loser, with no work and no courage. that all changed yea?.
I just remembered Naz telling me, "Dude... stop working, stop acting like youre freaking 45! and start being a kid again! You're too young to be a workacholic" Lol, I honestly don't know how the hell I got into all this. actually I do. Its cause of her! She passed my portofolio to my boss 7 months ago. *sigh* I'm so close to a year working there. A year experience at a full fledged design studio. That would look great on my cv. But now to create a portofolio. Looks like I'm going to have to print all my work. Time to call union! Too bad I'll just be there for like 9 months. and I'm gone. back to school for me. Maybe I'll be a freelancer until I'm done with both my business course and design course. I'll probably end up going to two different universities but thats alright. As long as I have experience and the degrees and all that freaking freelance work to add shit to my portfolio.
Never thought I'll be in this situation.
*sigh*
So I'm back.
Not much for writing up everything that has happened over at the Philippines here.
It was fun despite me wanting to come back here every minute of every day. Having something or someone so far away from me kinda drove me over the edge. Pissed me off actually. haha.
I'm glad I'm back though. Sigh.
Came back 5 days before the actual flight. I'm very happy about it at least now, I can actually take a breather from work and a vacation that didn't seem so much like a vacation. It was more tiring, walking about the areas like there is no such thing as cars. We had a couple of bad encounters. Close encounters with snatchers and killer taxi drivers that don't fucking give a damn if they're going to be hitting a person crossing the fucking street! DIE MURDERS!
Well then I'm glad thats over.
What I'm slightly worried about is work next week. I'm worried that maybe I've gotten used to the long days without it that when I go back I won't be staying long before I leave again in fright. Especially when my sister has left that job behind her. But thats just a slight worry. I know that theres something- sorry someone that'll keep me sane and will comfort me and make me forget that theres nothing to be afraid of. I need him as much as he needs me. >.< I dont think I can get through this without him. T-T and I thought I would be a fucked up loser, with no work and no courage. that all changed yea?.
I just remembered Naz telling me, "Dude... stop working, stop acting like youre freaking 45! and start being a kid again! You're too young to be a workacholic" Lol, I honestly don't know how the hell I got into all this. actually I do. Its cause of her! She passed my portofolio to my boss 7 months ago. *sigh* I'm so close to a year working there. A year experience at a full fledged design studio. That would look great on my cv. But now to create a portofolio. Looks like I'm going to have to print all my work. Time to call union! Too bad I'll just be there for like 9 months. and I'm gone. back to school for me. Maybe I'll be a freelancer until I'm done with both my business course and design course. I'll probably end up going to two different universities but thats alright. As long as I have experience and the degrees and all that freaking freelance work to add shit to my portfolio.
Never thought I'll be in this situation.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
omg
mood: awake
listening to: the tv.
They have nhk!!! OMG! *dies*
I miss everyone already.!!! grrrrrr
I'll be bak in manila on the 15th. 6 days in Davao? gahhhhhhhhhhhhh
noez.
Its 9:20 am here.
woke up at like 15 past 7.
my cousins slept over and I'm starving now.
listening to: the tv.
They have nhk!!! OMG! *dies*
I miss everyone already.!!! grrrrrr
I'll be bak in manila on the 15th. 6 days in Davao? gahhhhhhhhhhhhh
noez.
Its 9:20 am here.
woke up at like 15 past 7.
my cousins slept over and I'm starving now.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
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