Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The Hermit

The world loves to judge. They judge with their knowing eyes slowly enumerating all your faults, every single thing that is simply not them. I am a hermit and I am proud to say that I am. I spent 13 years of my life as a hermit. Not the Boo Radley kind but the kind that spends 6 days a week indoors and prefers the company of her laptop, books and her pen tablet to keep her company. But the giant truth is. I'm scared. It's my fear of being mistreated, misguided and making a hole outside of my original comfortable one.

I have trust issues with reality. (Who doesn't now-a-days?) And these issues make it really difficult for me to reach out and make friends that I will eventually see every other day outside of my hermit hole. I fear that one day, when I turn my back they'll stab it and then I'll have to deal with the "pain" that comes with this kind of friendship. Come on! Why do people even bother going through the never ending loop of disappointment, drama, hurt, pain, and worst of all betrayal. I see many of my few closest friend's friend who do things that just hurts a person. Well, person who betrayed my friend. I have something to say to you.

I don't understand you or why you find the need to hurt and plague through my friends like just to destroy it and then fix it and then destroy it again.

I don't understand the world. But then again, who does?

Hmm. I think we're going a little bit off topic. What was I talking about again. Ah yes, me being a hermit. My hermitness is a shield. A shield away from those kind of people who like to self-destruct.
I get it. You like to destroy peoples lives and all but dude, leave me out of it. And I get it some people don't get why I like being a hermit.

You know, being a hermit is not all that bad. I spent 13 years building what I have now and that is first making my way into an art community and then a book community and eventually, I created my own brand and business and here I am now. Helping best-selling authors take their stepping stones to success with book marketing, blogging, book covers, and so much more. I'm 20 years old and I'm still at the baby phase of my life and I'm ready to make my way up until I can't anymore. I'm a hermit whose idea of fun is productivity and helping someone make a living. I donate books and money to charities. I do pro bono projects to businesses that need brands and books that need covers. I live to make my family happy with my grades, my success, my presence and my obedience. I live to make sure that their lives in the future will be stable and safe. I live as a hermit to save myself from the troubles of self-destruction and to give life to yet another book, blog, and family.

And if you judge me for being me. Let me ask you this. What are YOU doing with your life? Do you have a purpose? Or is your life only there just so you can betray another soul, destroy another friendship, cut ties with your family and hate yourself?

Call me a prune, a hermit, a boring soul that never lived life. I may be a hermit and a boring soul but I continue to live my life for a reason, no matter how dull and boring the reason is.

I am a Goddamn hermit, everything that defines one has shaped me, my success, and my life. I am content, happy and I fucking live for a reason and that is to live life to the fullest the way I always loved to. Read. Speak. Love. Design. Write. and Climb.