Friday, October 31, 2008


Mood: Tired
Listening to: 独心中 - Lovin'

Yesterday at work... was fucking tiring.
After that we went straight to BCC.
When we finally got home and I slept...
I had to wake up early cause Nada had to get her stupid report card. I didn't mind... cause I got to see JP.~ lol.

As I stepped inside my room after we came home.
I immediately picked up my bass and camera and started filming covers...

don't blame me if I look shit tired. T-T

Friday, October 24, 2008

Motzy and his fake wet dreams <=3 [perv moment]


Okie, first of all... The Title is completely and utterly nonsense...

Well, not really.

Work has been eventful. I've been doing some things, important things, things that had deadlines and all. Which I found really pressuring at times. Lol.

I'm glad its already the weekend. But then again its ending so soon and its kinda depressing.

One more week left then October is over.


And I thought it was just the beginning of everything.
I took a risk. I just realized it.

What a fucking mess I say.
I'm actually happy with my job and with my love.
Now, all I need is actual money that I earn from my own blood and sweat. That would be the day. Oh wellz.

I seriously want to improve my Japanese again.
I'm still bad at it. All I know are the basics.

Speaking of Japanese.
I did a cover of alice nine's RAINBOWS this afternoon. weee~
Nada was being funny as fuck.

Watch it to amuse yourself.~

Me and Renz had a gap between us and I suddenly felt really really afraid that I would lose him the way I lost... yea. It was a nasty loss I tell you. A lot of pain was caused and I didn't take it very well. After all that, I think I went all a little bitter and angry. But in the end I realized it wasn't my fault. It was just another thing that had to happen.

I just read that a 10 year old boy self-taught himself 10 different languages!
My GOD! if I was that disciplined at that age and younger I would already be fluent in Japanese, Arabic, and Madarin.
DAMN! I'm going to start learning Japanese again~ wooohooo~

Monday, October 20, 2008

Random Thoughts #2

More crap I found on Xanga.

No matter how much I try. I will always end up crying just cause one sentence wasn't supposed to hurt me the way it did.

I will always find my way clear, now that you're here in my life.

I will never admit that I cried for him.

Why does it hurt when I see you cry?
Why do I go weak when you whisper 'I love you'?
Why does your voice soothe me?
Why does your simple words calm me?
Why does the look in your eyes make me want to kiss you?
Why does every little bit of my day remind me of you?
Why do I feel happy every single day knowing I'll see you again soon?
Why do I miss you?
Is it cause I love you?

~page 2

the cutest smile that will take your breath away;
he has the ability to make you laugh every time he speaks
& when you look at him it’s hard to turn away

and when i first met you
i never would have imagined that
i would have such strong feelings for you
i never would have thought that
i would have dreams about you
or miss being by your side
or get butterflies in my stomach
when someone mentions your name
when i first met you i never would
have thought that i would fall in love with

I want you to look at me like
you've never looked at anyone else
i want you to look at me like
i have something other girls don't

when you're down, i may not
be able to pick you back up
but i promise i'll be willing
to lay down right next to you

O_O whats up with the pretty corny quotes o-o I dont think they're corny. are they?

Random Thoughts #1

I was reading my Xanga Subscriptions and these caught my eye.

They relate to me?

want to know who your heart belongs to? it's that boy you get cute for in the mornings. (true)

We all hope for a boy who, as we fix our hair,
and tug at our clothes, will grab our hands, smile,
and ask us, "now, what the heck are you trying to fix, beautiful?" (sweet)

"Friends forever", you promised. "Together till the end." We did everything together you were my best friend. When I was sad, you were by my side. When I was scared, you felt my fear. You were my best support ; if I needed you, you were there. You were the greatest friend, you always knew what to say: you made everything seem better. As long as we had each other, everything would be okay. But somewhere along the line, we slowly came apart. I was here, you were there, it tore a hole in my heart. Things are changing, our cheerful music reversed its tune. It was like having salt without pepper, a sun without its moon. Suddenly we`re miles apart, two different people with nothing the same. It`s as if we hadn`t been friends ; Although deep in our hearts we knew neither one of us was to blame. You made many new friends, & luckily so had I, but that didn`t change the hurt ; the loss of our friendship made me cry. As we grow older, things must change. But they don`t always have to end. Even though it`s different ; you will always be my best friend.
(this happened to me)

It's all those simple things you do.
Wait for me to leave for our next class.
Smile at me in the middle of a crowd.
Catch my eye as you walk before me.
Glide your hand across mine as we walk beside each other.
Kiss my neck because you know that's my favorite.
You've memorized what I love.

If a boy really likes you
he doesn't care how tired he is.
How much homework he has or how late it is.
He'll talk to you.

And that's when you realize
He's the boy you're crazy for.
The one who makes you laugh on the worst days.
He's not perfect, but neither are you.
Sometimes he's dorky, but he's your dork.
He kisses you in the rain and dances with no music,
Even though he knows it's cliché.
He made you realize it is possible
to have permanent butterflies.
Every love song makes sense because of him,
Because he loves you, and you love him.

i don't want him to be perfect. I want him to laugh at me, trip me, then help me back up, pick me up and throw me into the pool, make me laugh for hours, and take me out. But most of all, i just want him to love me.

(I love you baby)

Saturday, October 18, 2008

you cannot be serious.

mood: sad, coughing + wanting.
listening to: WORLD END - FLOW (Thank you baby for getting me into this band)

Oh joy, its Sunday.
Usually I would be happy about it. I would have the whole house to myself. I could play with Nada's guitar without asking. I could do anything. But now, I'm not even going to be in it.
I still haven't gotten used to the timings, and the fact that I actually go to work and miss everything that happens at home. I get home at 6pm and just go online and search for some tutorials that'll help me with InDesign & Illustrator.

Thursday, Nada and Nasser didn't have school. So Nasser made mom and all of us go with him to Seef. Nada and I, decided to separate from the group and just have our little sisterly time together.

Friday, as excited as Jp was, we (me, sawsy, & nada) went to BCC. Lol we immediately got lost in the elevator in the parking. We didn't know which floor to take... lol it was hilarious actually.
Met up with luv and checked out Virgin records. I saw old acquaintance, he happened to work at Virgin. I found it ironic somehow. He was totally hitting on Sawsy. *laughs* He wouldn't stop talking to her. Luv, wouldn't stop laughing. I had to drag him away so he would stop laughing. Sheesh luv. Went to a Ice Cream place, watched nada eat, and waited. We actually saw one of our Aunties with Ismael. (SHOCKER) I know right and We were with Jp. He insistently hid. Lol.

So we saw Robbie, Kal, and Faisal. Went to a Coffee shop with them on the way I saw our Aunt once again I was so glad she didn't really see me (Nada and Sawsy decided to get lost somewhere and didn't join us until later) amongst the 4 guys or I would be in BIG ASS shit.
Right Coffee... it was fun and I miss you Jp. *pouts*

Luv, you make me hella happy. Haha. Don't you dare buy me more stuff or I steal your wallet whenever we go out. I love you.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Post 856

and... its back to work for me.
I researched on interns (feels like renz, lol) and Internships aren't supposed to last more than 10 weeks or so but I think mine will last until the company finds an actual graphics designer then I'll be kicked off my seat. I don't mind. I actually don't really want to be in there anymore. No matter how awesome the working environment is. *sigh* I would be more into it if I actually was getting paid. But I'm not so I'll have to bear with the whole idea of me being an intern for 10 more weeks or so. *sighs somemore*

At least, now I know what I want to study and what career path I want to be in. *sighs somemore* I don't think AMA has a course thats close to graphics designing. I also got the real feel of being around actual graphic designers and I learn alot too~ Yay~! for me.

The hours are killing me actually. I get home at 7pm. I go online learn more about designing and all that, check email, Talk to luv then sleep.


Oh wellz, I'm being a lazy ass.

Sunday, October 12, 2008


listening to: into the dark - lycaon (this is some awesome dark trance shit. rite there)

Last night and the whole day today.
Having a fever ain't that bad.
I got luv all worried and crap. Don't worry~ I'll get well soon.
I'm going to work tomorrow.

I don't want this internship to go to waste.

I miss JROCK sooo much. Despite the fact that I listen to it while I work.
I just miss downloading all the new crap.

Oh well... I wonder what will happen after I'm done with the internship. It has only been a week and I'm wondering already? lol well, whatever seems right.

I'm supposed to be burning a couple of cds for nikki and nichelle. It sucks being the #1 drama asian source. *laughs on the inside*

That reminds me I have to burn myself some copies just in case my notebook crashes.

Oh crap, my fever came back.
>.> grrr...

I'm going to learn how to play namida no ondo on the guitar & bass~ weeee~

I miss talking to panda now. T-T

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Shadow March?

Listening to Nada cough.

The girl is going to get me sick.

I don't feel like blogging anymore.

I'm going to go read the Basic Design book

I'm determined to reach the same level I am in photoshop in both Illustrator and Indesign. That reminds me I should practice doing vectors. I pretty much don't remember how to do it. Since it has been almost a year since I did vectors.

This is kinda pissing me off a bit.
I'm not really enjoying being 16. ._.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

(_ _)zZZzZZz

I think I've yawned more than 15 times already. 

I want to eat... 


listening to: devil beside you OST.

Nasreen! what the fuck did you put in my tea? I nearly fell asleep while I was making a freaking layout. That never happens! The tea is bad.! very. it tastes so good. but it has chemicals that make you sleep in it.

I can barely stay awake and this isn't school I can't just doze off when I want to.

I'm going to make myself busy and try to wake my brain up by typing this.

I'm currently staring at Design Basic books. I'm going to take one home for the whole weekend. I seriously feel so small here.

I'll post this up at 11:30.

Dads coming home today. I think hes already at the house. yay!
Saw JP this morning. ~ haha
Mom drove him to AMA. lol. So weird.
She likes him and sorta feels sorry for him cause hes alone all the time.

*stares at fingers*
I miss playing the bass so much...

List of Books that lay on my desk:
Brochure Design : Best Of
Basic Design: Image
Basic Design: Layout
Best of : Brochure Design (2nd)
Graphic Brochures
Best of: Brochure Design (3rd)
Geometry of Design

Shan's fav Rainie song just came on!! YAY!!!!

few more minutes and I go back to work.

renren!! if you're reading this. would you call me please. like if you're awake. Doesn't matter just call me! anytime today. >>; Jp too... if you're at home.

NADA!! call me too. >> haha. A.D.D. Kills...

Wednesday, October 8, 2008


I dont feel so good. 
I'm freezing my ass off and I'm so freaking tired for no freaking reason. 

I'm supposed to be reading Geometry of Design right now and nothings getting into my head and it annoys me and its so not me. Yea, I think I am sick. 

Grrr. . .

I miss playing the bass. 


Yesterday, I took about 3-4 hours making multiply t-shirt designs for a big project since the Designer that's in-charge of it was absent for 2 days now.
I find it really intriguing that almost all of them forget that I'm 16 and throw jobs I can't possibly deal with. I'm actually too young to work. I'm not allowed. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

But no one has to know.

I haven't started the 4 layout covers I had to recreate. >.>

I hope I get paid.
If I don't get paid then I hope I can get off early cause I want time to like research and read tutorials on indesign and all.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

and here comes it.~

Lol. The title is so random. 

I can't speak 'internet' here. LOL

I'm like pissed happy. Someone out there knows why. 

Alright, I'll looking at 4 brochure design books. 
My new project would be doing 3 or more covers. 
Its going to take me a long 3-4 hours. But I'll bear with it. 
I feel like a kid who knows nothing. 
Well, I am not exactly a kid. But I do know nothing. 
I just got a hang of Mac machines. My Mac has freaking garageband. 

Full account comes later if I have time. 

Monday, October 6, 2008

Brochure Designing

I've been messing around on indesign for 2 hours now and I think I got a hang of it. 
Grrz... I got to show Liam. 

Alright back to work. 

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Restrain from sleeping at all costs.


I'm freaking sleepy.
But I refuse to go to bed. I have shit loads of crap to do.
My first day at work was awesome. Everyone was friendly and cool. The people in my department are awesome. Lol. If I work there for like 6 months straight I'll get the british accent. yay~

Last night was the best.~ haha. it was fun.
I'm not going into details.

*reads more tutorials*



I can't view my own blog here. >>;

at work

I'm not 100% sure if I'm supposed to be blogging in the middle of work. 
But I'll do it anyways. 

I slept over at Nasreen's apartment at Riffa just for the first day of work. 
I wasn't really nervous which is completely weird cause I'm never calm. 

I'm currently playing around on Indesign. 
I attended 2 meetings. Which I found cool. 
Before, I finish the page layout, I'm doing, I wanted to blog... 
I just called Kal. He's back in Bahrain. Yay! 

LOL. Yea dude... You called me at work~ 
I officially love my job. *happiness* 
I pretty much just help the others. 
The coolest part is that I'm in the Creative Department. *awesomeness* 

anyways... one more hour before I get off. 
I blog about last night when I get home. 

Friday, October 3, 2008

I miss these blue walls

I miss this place soo much.
Too many memories... too many memories.

I miss the yans.
I miss wenwen.
I miss hun.

I miss everyone!!


My first simple attempt of typography ~


The beach was pretty fun.
Uncle boyet was so fucking drunk. hahaha. He kept on talking on and on. So hilarious.
I got my flesh scraped off my little pinky toe. Stupid rocks.

this is just a brief account since I'm pretty much busy with other things like... TYPOGRAPHY.

ないない。(nickname given to me by wenwen)

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Waking up terrified.

One mistake and it ruins moods fast.
It scares me.
I'll sleep depressed knowing I hurt him.
I'll wake up scared again. I don't really know how, or why I wake up terrified.
It usually happens when I sleep uneasy or depressed.
So what am I scared of? Why do I wake up scared?
Is it cause I know the day will bring only grief? or is it cause something bad's going to happen and I can change it by not waking up at all?

Don't think about it Naj. You're just attracting more depression if you think this way.
remember the secret.

listening to...

エ - E
ト - TO
セ - SE
ト - TO
ラ - RA
世 - YO
の - no
中 - naka
shredder.~ lol


at pizza hut.

the wind is amazing so me and nada went out walking outside~

The Theory of Music & Typography

Listening to: Dear my love ~ Miyavi


After getting pissed at renz and watching several things that were left unwatched a few days ago.
I opened photoshop and started experimenting with the so called genre 'typography'. It seems easy but its not when you don't understand it at all. I tried and I failed. Now, I'm going to try again after I do further research on its mysterious, simple yet complex nature. It drives me mad sometimes. When someone knows how to do something cool such as typography and I know nothing of it.
I started at one typography work for about 20 minutes before I got how everything is made. THEY ARE ALL MADE IN ILLUSTRATOR. *dies*

Tomorrow morning after printing out more of my artwork for my portfolio. I am determined to download illustrator and play around with it until I get the actual concept of typography.

Theory of Music ~

Tabbing will be WAY easier if I knew the music theory and all that. Scales, Melody, Pitch, Harmony, Rhythm & Texture or the form of structure.

I'll study that later on.

I swear... when I start working I'll be so much of a workaholic again. I'll be motivated to do a lot more than just play or rest after work.

I can't wait to say hello to tired days. woo~hoo~

Wednesday, October 1, 2008


I GOT THE JOB~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!


Interview ~

right now~

wish me luck~~~