Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Dances along with Frank Sinatra.

Mood: winktastic [yay! new word]
Listening to: Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off ~ Panic! at the Disco

Again, me and Nada did something utterly useless.
We sat in front of her laptop watching drama for two days straight.

I'm kinda disappointed in myself. I hate feeling useless. .-.


Something to get my mood back to its brightest:

My fluffy purple socks! they're so warm.! (yes... I'm wearing pants.) Ignore the paper beside it it was just me taking notes and specific colors and all. (for the posters)

I'm so not used to the minty green walls.


Green are spaces that Renz wrote and edited.
Red is untouched and written by yours truly.

"Sitting on the bare oaken chair, I was caressed by the winds that came in through the French windows. The sun gently beamed its radiance across my face and its warmth was very forthcoming. The old clock struck its regular mantra as another hour passed in our old house. I breathed out a sigh and stared down at my shoes. Again I was lost in my stare. The left was lightly scarred at the upper. Moving my toes up and down; I could slightly see the bulge of my left toe through the black leather. I continued my blank stare. A wave of jealously and insecurity wept its way in a surge through me. I shivered. I thought of the past and present. I thought of how my sister is most likely to live more happily than me. I can't rid my view of how the simplest things anyone does better than me. A fire immediately ascends from my wits and I grow mad at them first for their greatness and then at myself for being so inferior to their likes.

I find my traits so difficult even for myself. I wish, I just wish for my intellect to stop being as it is. No more of my lack of confidence. I don't know if I'm born with it or if I grew it during the years when my sister went off to school while I stayed at home burying myself in every book I could find so I could feel better about myself. It makes me angry that I even shed tears. A pathetic sort of person I think myself. My complexity only showing off its true greatness with every word I speak of now. If only I could laugh at my own sarcasm, as if it were as easy as I wished it to be."

Something I edited last night.
I just felt there was a line that needed to be replaced with something that had more meaning to every word.

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