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Saturday, November 10, 2007

.....

downloaded and burned moon child successfully. cried successfully for the first time in over a year. i'm never crying again.

there are people who hate jrockers and jrock in genereal and it sux. it offends me badly it HURTS me badly. jrock is part of my life. If they offend them they offend me. I bleed like there is no tomorrow. why am I this way? its cause, jrock keeps me going. without it I wont be here today. I would have been dead in my bathroom floor. suicide sucks. but I've tried. but stopped being emo.
lets say music saved my life.

I still have no direction in life. I'm waiting for God to make a move.

nothing happening still. If nothings happened by the time I graduate from school, if He hasn't put a path infront of me yet. I'm gone. and nothings going to change my mind.

Nothing.

Umm... reminds me of the time when my cousin, my sister, my brother-in-law. All teamed up to kick me till i'm bleeding inside. I swore at them and walked away. It hurt so fucking much. I couldn't hide my anger but I sure can hide my tears. Hmm... How easy it is to deceive. and I always end up saying sorry. always I.

Oh how much I wanted to step infront of the large truck that passes our neighborhood.

Oh the pain, the kin causes.
Oh the scars caused by then.
channeling pain and anger is soo emoish....

GOSH! I'm a happeh dandeh person! with my cold eyes and large grin.

Oh how I miss those time when all we do is play and laugh and not caring about anything.

stay strong
stay with jrock
wait patiently
and you'll get where you want to go naj.

Patience is all you need now.

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