Monday, September 15, 2008

My stupidity is a curse

I don't remember why exactly I posted up 'Unrequited' online.
Exposure? No way. Was it for someone specific to read? Oh yeah, Kobby. I wrote a chapter and mentioned a few lines to him so he wanted to read it. I think its as simple as it is now cause I wrote most of it for him. Why'd I do it? Well, He was always there. Before Ren, I used to talk to kobby for hours on end.

The story behind 'Unrequited'.

Jane Austen as you all know is one of my favorite authors.
She wrote many forms of 'Love' stories. Non of which are close to 'unrequited', unless we're talking about Anne and Fredrick. That was not really unrequited. Fredrick, a rejected, cold, angry heart comes back into Anne life and treats her so coldly and yet they still love each other after so many years. so sad.

I wrote the first chapter of unrequited in hopes that maybe, just maybe. I'll have something written as good as hers but with a different love theme. My characters will not have what they want the most. Since I don't. I'll torture them in the same way unrequited love tortures a heart. The same way it tortured mine. Shallow pain mixed with jealousy, hatred and non-existent hope.
At that time, I guess I had a really hard time finding another outlet to vent out on. Art isn't enough anymore. I just wrote everything down. I made stories closely related to me or stories I wished would happen to me. Lets just say they're just dreams on paper then. Unrequited is nothing more than mere dabbles on paper that became something larger. Something I took seriously. Something that made me think that maybe I could live by my pen.

Then writers/artists block occurred. It lasted 4 months. I haven't written anything. Expect small paragraphs of my actual feelings and messed up and bad works of art.
Then the dam broke. I sorta don't need to vent out on anywhere recently. Just on Renz. HAHAHAHA.

This entry is supposed to be longer. But... ren interrupted and my mood to blog disappeared.
So you have him to thank.

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