Friday, September 12, 2008

A reminder in solitude

I'm completely blank.
Maybe after this sentence I'll be writing like crazy.

The days are going too fast.
One week till the party and I don't think I'll get the steps right. I don't think my dress fits the theme and I doubt anyone could careless.
Yesterday, I entered the empty hallways of the university and thought 'damn, this is nice' I think I'll actually like going there. All the teachers are Filipino. The class rooms are big and the people well the people I'll probably know some of them.
We entered the classroom they were practicing in. Damn. I was the only one who didn't even know the basics. But I think I got a hang of it, I think. There are several formations. First, being the V that'll slowly brake when we curtsy and bow then start with the waltz to form a heart then straight lines. We sway from side to side then form a circle. We waltz in one big circle then then stop and waltz forward then switch partners.
10 minute bathroom break. I put on my dress for Nikki to see. She said it didn't really fit the theme but it'll do. Since I doubt mom will get my other dress fitted.
I'm worried now that I'll stand out too much. If it happens then screw it. The guys will be in bow ties. *laughs in the inside*

After everyone left. Me, Nada, Nikki and Ej had trouble finding a ride. We called several taxi companies and people who could give us a ride. All said one thing 'Busy'. Until we found a taxi driver who was nice enough to pick us up and take us to Funland. Turns out I had to pay for the taxi. I only had 10 damnit. Thank God! Mariel paid for Nikki otherwise I wouldn't get to skate.
We got in and it was completely empty. Poked Bestfriend hello and straight to get some skates.
I couldn't hug him damnit. They were pissed at him and they expect me to be mad at him too. Gah. I couldn't do anything normal with him without thinking of what Nikki would say to me afterwards in anger. Gah its like shes controlling me now and its making sick. gah. Right, boundaries. I can't cross boundaries. Why do I even have to please her? Everyone else didn't mind what I did. Whatever. Thats the past now.

After we left funland I couldn't care less. Haha I walked with Ren. We were all in pairs.

*Nada laughing in the background*

Shes watching Gokusen 3.
Last night was hilarious.
She was sleeping soundly so I just did whatever on Yoshihiko.
"Robbie, go over there" she said in her sleep. That actually scared me at first. I was like what? You talking to me? *laughs*

Last night, I was reading that book I started writing in. Its basically a diary. But I don't really call it a diary. Since its contents are just about one person. Well half of it.
I find it stupid to read something that'll hurt me and possibly you. Its so obvious it was all written in anger or pain. Reminders of what I felt and what I'm feeling now. I need to finish it before you leave. I'm planning to give it to you as a going away present. If you can call a book filled with my thoughts, a present. I think I wrote 'I hate you' more than the opposite, in that book. it makes me laugh. I think I write in it the most when I'm angry.

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