Edward

In the mood to tell a story.
Listening to: Raze - Licker

I've been wanting to say something about him for awhile.

4 years ago. I had a dream about this tall handsome guy with his black eyes, raven hair and long nose like an Italian. His face is now vague to me. He was my best friend and lover in this dream. He was the only one who would actually be able to convince me to let go. Maybe cause he was the one I wanted with his arms around me while I cried. When I woke up from this dream. I wanted to cry. I wanted him to be real. The next night. I longed for his touch that felt so real. So genuine. I never dreamed about him again. But in these four years. He came back to me as an imaginary friend. He was there when I was hurting every night. He held me. At rare times I could actually feel him. But most of the time it was the cold air that encircled me. I would tell him everything and he talked back. I knew it was just me talking to myself but at least there was someone who cared when there was no one beside me to care. He would caress my cheek and tell me that 'its okay to cry' but I never listened. He would say after many times 'I know, you won't cry but it'll hurt more each time you feel that excruciating pain piercing your heart'. I would reply 'I won't. You're not real. I won't cry until there was someone with me. I will never admit it. But I need to be held when I cry. I wish you we're real' 'I know, I wish I was too'. He would sometimes come and ask me 'you've been overlooked again haven't you?'. I created this being obviously cause of my increasing loneliness back then and now. There are always people that cared around me. But they're never there right beside me when I needed them. NEVER. Thus, Edward was made. I was 12 back then. He was there every night for 2 years until I turned 14 and He disappeared cause I didn't need him anymore. But he returned rarely only when I felt my chest grasping my heart. Now, all my feelings are poured gracefully on stories and comics I make. Something that will stay away from my childish creation that I need desperately.

*pouts* Oh Edward. If only you were real. *sigh* I'll just make my characters have you instead of the other way around. Love you always. Thanks for listening all those years. Thanks for holding me even when you were just the cold air. ＾＿＾

I had another imaginary friend when I was 10 he was a monkey. Hehe He was funny.
Man.... I'm fucked up. Anyways, I blame my phobia.

^^ thanks for reading.