today

listening to : Hai No Yuki - exist trace -thank you sawsy for downloading this for me-
mood: upset

My day did NOT start off well. Like an irresponsible prick I overslept. I didn't sleep well, and I missed my usual computer time. So I didn't go online. when I was done with a shower and I was already doing my work. Nada, came in and told me to come with her to the tailor to help her pick out a prom dress. that just ruined everything. It has been two weeks since I started doing my work and I feel I haven't done anything that satisfies me. NOTHING. In the current situation I'm in. I don't know if I can go back to my usual situation. What made me feel better is when we went to aljazeera and actually bought 'Becoming Jane' DVD. that made me happy. When we came home it was lunch time. we ate and baked cookies for school tomorrow. Before watching the movie. Me and Nada sat abit with my parents. Mom, told pops that we bought a DVD. and then BOOM. my day flipped back to what it was when I woke up. My Dad complained. he shouted at me. Telling me not to spend money left and right. The DVD was only 8.9 BD dad. Chill. but no... he started ranting about the cable and how he bought it so we can watch all the movies we want. I said. 'Baba, its a BBC production. BBC movies don't show on television alot, and this movie didn't even hit the movie theaters, it went straight to DVD' But no he kept on ranting on about money. Which made me seriously angry that I could cry for hiding everything with a smile and a chuckle. 'come on nada lets go watch the movie' I said. we left the room.
In my opinion, I think my dad is just taking out everything on me. cause well, we're sorta broke. when he and mom went and bought new kitchen shit like a mixed and a rice cooker. I personally think that he is telling me everything that he should be telling himself. I've seen how many times he orders things that aren't needed for his shop until this summer. We have no way of paying for this. He takes out his anger on the smallest of creatures.

Becoming Jane, made me realize that, 1 out of 100 never get their happy endings. It has also inspired me to live by a pen. for me to do that. I'll have to increase my vocabulary and pratice writing as much as possible. Everyone has a happy ending. mine will not come.

I look at the pile of work that I have to do. I don't think I can finish it in 3 months.
Looks like I'll not be having a holiday as I hoped for this semester.

God, help me.

Naj