Saturday, August 16, 2008

and it goes downhill.

I hate everyone including myself. I was blind too. You weren't the only one. Now I look bad. This is bad. I can't stop it. I'll just leave it all to you guys cause its your fight. I won't defend anyone. I won't take sides. I'll just wait in the sidelines listening to each side.

I admitted to you last night and you didn't take it well.
Thats not a big problem at the moment.
This is probably one of the worst days of my life and I'm actually smiling.
I can't take this much crap from people I eventually cried a bit. I never cry for more than 2 minutes.

I fought with boo on the phone and then made up cause she told me something that fucking made me doubt his... gah. No he wouldn't do that. But I didn't tell her that cause she thinks hes using me. I don't know which side I'm supposed to believe. I'm just going to wait for you guys to talk about it with each other. Theres going to be a lot of screaming. I tried to defend but they just called me a little puppy that follows him everywhere. Thats cold girls. I have dignity you know that. Keep our distances from him? Lol you think I'm able to do that? Fuck. If you guys are mad at him don't drag me into it please. Do whatever you want. I won't defend. You girls wont listen. So I wont take sides so I wont betray anyone. Just call me when Its all over. I want to work this crap out. I want it to end without losing a friend. I'm not strong enough to take all this crap. Hurry up before I'm tempted to do something really stupid.

I'm going to act like a best friend not a girlfriend from now on. Virtually we can do whatever. In person it'll be different. Thats what Nada and boo were pissed at. For fuck sake you guys should have said that in the first place. Oh well. Whats done is done.

This is so fucked up.
Why am I scared?

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