I just threw a silent tantrum.
Whats a silent tantrum?
For me its the highest depressed state I can be in.
1. hate myself so bad cause its my fault from the beginning I shouldn't have fallen so fast.
2. block mind completely from outer world
3. hit the wall over and over and over again until the pain numbs hands.
4. lock myself in the bathroom and do it all over again
5. slide down and stare at the wall for about 10 minutes
6. stand up and hit the wall again.
7. Hyper ventilate to refrain from crying
8. lean forehead on wall and cool down
9. get out and go invisible
10. erase existence.
conclusion.... heart gets really numb so emotional pain wont work for awhile + face is completely expressionless + Coldness towards everyone.