Tuesday, June 3, 2008


mood: blank
listening to: Sabi - Sugar

I'm wearing a mask. Its fun to hide things but it'll hurt so much when you're alone. I hate it when I think about. I wish I had homeschooling to drown my sorrows in. *sigh* I love work. It helps me forget things. It helps me cover it up even more. The first week of this was the worst. But no one seemed to notice. I had to tell Nada for her to find out. I told Nikki. She told me I was in love with him. I can't be. I don't want to be. Fuck. This is just... I don't want this. I know it'll never happen. I should get over him already. Hey, I'm trying. Now, I really am covering it up. They don't even notice much. Umm... at least I don't spoil the happy atmosphere. LOL. Happy. I wish. Its soo easy for me.... To fake it. To fake the whole thing. To fake my smile. To make my eyes look happier. To keep my voice stable. I'm pretty happy with myself. I wonder if I can smile when the worst pain comes. I hope I can. I shall test myself.

Lets see what happens.

This is going to be fun.

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