Yesterday was Josh's 5th birthday.
Only like 2 people were there. Me and Nada mostly hung out upstairs anyways.
I filmed 3 bass covers. but only 2 were posted up. Cause Nada was being a fucking retard in the 3rd.
I did something I shouldn't have done last night.
I'm sorry, I ruined your day for you. I shouldn't have talked to him. I shouldn't have told him something I've been dieing to talk to someone about. I know you'll probably be even more annoyed cause I didn't talk to you instead. But hey, I can't tell you some things. I can't tell a lot of people some things. That includes 3 of my other best friends and Motzy.
Regret, Guilt, Sorrow and Pain collided together and forced its way out last night.
He told me something after that hurtful conversation. He told me not to let go. He didn't mean my tears. He meant something else. I asked him why. But he didn't answer me. He just said he won't tell me. I wonder what he meant by that.
I woke up with cold eyes. I didn't feel anything. Emotionless. I was just there. Thoughtless.
Hey, I know you'll probably be reading this. You always read this. I'm sorry, I can't let go. Its not how I work. I know It'll just destroy me. But I can't. You're probably worrying. I'm sorry for that too. Luv u best friend. I know you're always there when I need you. Same goes for the 3. <3 If they're reading this.